I didn’t know what was true and what wasn’t, but I listened.
Patrick’s profile might have read “Married lonely guy looking for someone to talk to.” I doubt I would have liked him as much if I’d never gotten the opportunity to listen to him open up and tell the truth.
I was a 33-year-old Lutheran deacon-in-training trying to convince myself I didn’t want to have sex with him, even though I did.
A pastor’s daughter, my upbringing included the strict moral code of “no sex before marriage.” This code was promptly discarded in my teenage years, when I learned, all too painfully, why my parents had tried to protect me from being prematurely thrust into the turmoil of physical intimacy.
We agreed to meet again a few nights later, and took a walk around his neighborhood in Washington Heights. I hardly lived up to my claims of virtue, never admitting to cheating on my college boyfriend, or having an affair with a married man in my early twenties, or frequently refusing to give people change in the subway.
“Just wanted to tell you I hope all is well with you. God bless.” This time I didn’t reply to his text message. Patent and Trademark Office as a trademark of Salon Media Group Inc.He taught me some French phrases and I tried to impress him with the few words I already knew. As we walked, he opened up, admitting that he occasionally still worked with his ex-wife, whom he met while studying in Mexico City. It wasn’t long before the dreaded text message came.I sounded as if I were reading off the menu from Le Pain Quotidian, but he humored me with applause. I imagined a sun-bronzed goddess in an off-the-shoulder peasant blouse. “It’s been a year,” he said, and steered me with his hand to a bench, brushing away dead leaves. “Oh, that.” He played with the ring, turning it on his finger. I asked myself, “What blouse do you wear to an awkward conversation? “At our apartment.” He admitted that he was still legally married.In my late twenties, my live-in boyfriend dumped me and kicked me out of his apartment.I was convinced that God was keeping a tally of my sexual indiscretions and punishing me for them.