"The only reason I ever considered dating my pal Wendy's ex was because he wasn't an ex," says Virginian Marnie, 28."The term 'ex" should be reserved for a real relationship.That way you can test the waters with your friend and see how much you both enjoy it.If these work out fine, just start changing the tone of those outings. Go to a romantic restaurant instead of an Irish Pub.Dating your friend's ex can work, but there are some hidden dynamics that women should take into consideration first. Does his "guy code" also imply that any woman who would claim another woman's "territory" is suspect?For example, some men have a definite "no-no" code when it comes to seriously dating a friend's ex. In other words, even if it's OK with your friend, will her former flame take you as seriously in a relationship as you might take him?So if you are attracted to a friend's ex-boyfriend and you want to see where your romance might be headed, go for it — but do it carefully.
Is he sharing intimate details of our four-year relationship with her?
While the rules about crossing the line with a friend's current squeeze seem clear, opinion varies when it comes to exes.
Are your gal-pals' ex-boyfriends fair game, or does the "exes code" still apply? What if that number changes to two years (or decades)? And what if their split was acrimonious — or your friend still carries a torch long after logic dictates that it should have been distinguished?
he "exes code" is a name I've given to the oft-unspoken (and occasionally, loudly voiced) rule that keeps the peace amongst female friends by keeping each other from pursuing each others' exes.
(Note: the same rule applies to men, too.) And while the dating pool may seem to be getting smaller and smaller these days, there are certain men that you tempting or convenient they may seem.