The reason this happens is because the odds of you being physically intimate in an open relationship are pretty high and intimacy leads to emotions.It's just hard not to gain feelings for someone when you're letting them into a really private part of your life.After years of trying to be together, we found that we both had this fear we had met too early in life. I work, go to school, blog and spend lots of time with other friends. It caused backlash at times, and we both had the desire to continue to explore the world and date. On the outside, it looks like we both want and love each other, but can’t quite choose each other. Our commitment runs so deep that it doesn’t really become phased by the presence of others. It came with trial and error and the undying question of, “Why can’t I let go of you? It feels great to be able to do it all and go back to him when the time works. People can say whatever they want about open relationships. At the end of the day, there are two people in love, and time or some other unforeseen circumstance just might not be on their side.
It was the best choice I could make to grow as an individual.
Nobody understands this more than women of color like Filomena Kaguako, a blogger from Ireland who wrote an open letter about racial fetishization after a disturbing experience on Tinder and Plenty of Fish., Kaguako's suitors send her comments like "was wondering if you know any hot brown/black girls," "just want a new experience" (when asked why he's pursuing black women specifically), and "it's not every man who wants to marry and have children with a black woman." Messages like these make her feel like "just a statistic or something to tick off a check list," she told the outlet.
Kaguako's letter, addressed to "Irishmen," describes why comments like these are so harmful.
He is fun, caring and — regardless of what many would think — loyal. You cannot allow society to tell you that love comes in one form, and one form only.
We share our deepest secrets, dreams and love for the life we have together with one another, and we always plan the future with the other in mind. Being in this open relationship has taught me a lot, especially about myself. If that were the case, then this is really all a bunch of bullsh*t. People are polygamists, people are monogamous and some people are straight-up never looking to get married, but love anyway. My graduation from college is soon approaching, and I have no doubt in my mind the finish line will be worth it. I spend a lot of time on my own for exchange with the little time I get with someone who means it all.