The worst thing you can do is engage in an argument with his daughter and force your boyfriend to side with either you or her.It's best to try to play the role of a counselor or friend until you establish a bond, according to the American Psychological Association article, "Making Stepfamilies Work." Even if you get along great, remember that you are not her mother.Never undermine her mother by letting her do things her mother would not or talking badly about her.If she confides in you about something personal, encourage her to talk to her mom. Ignore the Rolling Eyes and Talk to Her “The first thing mothers need to know is that they are a critical voice in their daughters’ sex education,” says Leslie Kantor, MPH, national director of education at Planned Parenthood Federation of America.
Kantor, who is also an assistant professor at the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University, suggests using things that happen in your daughter’s everyday life to check in.
For instance: Even if your daughter resists your attempts, don’t give up. “Trust that your main message is getting through.” Do Some Soul Searching Sex is a loaded topic at any age.
If you have mixed feelings about your past or current sex life, do your best to come to terms with that before you talk to your daughter.
Constance Ahrons’ research, “Family Ties After Divorce: Long-Term Implications for Children,” found children have a more difficult time adjusting to a stepmother than a stepfather.
Even though winning over his daughter may be a challenge, there are some ways to increase your chances for success.