Juei, 26, says, “You already feel so comfortable around them and you don’t have to stress about making a good impression.” But, as I discovered the hard way, this level of total comfort can be a double-edged sword.
My aforementioned friend and I did start dating, but because I was so relaxed and not worried about what he thought of me, I ended up on the other end of the spectrum.
There was, of course, that best guy friend who was rooting for me to overcome yet another heartache.
Not surprisingly, I began to think, “Wait, should I revisit this, now that we are both single at the same time?
” I realized then that what I really wanted in my other half was compatibility in values, interests, and personality (which by then I knew my friend and I had). Diana Kirschner agrees that compatibility is the best thing about dating your best friend.
In the words of Kirschner, a relationship expert, psychologist, and author of Find Your Soulmate Online in 6 Simple Steps: “You can have it all in one package: friendship and romance.” In fact, many girls admit this combination is what makes dating a best friend so appealing—given your closeness and familiarity, you’re already halfway to a solid romantic relationship.
I had a friend whom I’d known for almost six years.
I knew his passions and fears and appreciated his support through good and bad times, and over time he had become one of my best guy friends.
But what if you were already best friends from the start?Cue the double date scene in Jerry Maguire where Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger watch another couple's steamy makeout sesh while they coldly peck one another. When you scroll through your texts from the last week, four out of five are related to food. Giving every attractive human under the age of 50 the full body scan? If you guys are looking at other people that much, it's definitely time to reignite the sexy spark between you.11. If "sharing your creature comforts together takes precedence over sharing sexual intimacy," it's a problem, says Dr.Where, when, and what to eat for dinner is the most common topic of conversation, rather than planning your next date, or (God forbid) sexting. Bedtime and bathroom routines are strictly functional, sexy. Flossing, clipping your toenails, digging for gold, you name it. Jane Greer, New York-based relationship expert and author of chill — every single night. "They come home and end up watching TV or just eating dinner rather than making time to connect sexually," says Greer. "Rather than responding to sexual overtures, couples in this predicament just ignore them," says Greer.The days of falling asleep wrapped up in each other's arms, taking showers together, or even brushing your teeth with his arms around your waist are over. Remember when you were dating and you'd bat your eyelashes and say "no biggie" when he spilled a beer on your designer flats? Those "I'm too pretty to poop" pretenses are long gone. You snap at each other over stupid things, like whose turn it is to walk the dog or pick up the dry cleaning. Having a night in relaxing is okay sometimes, but if this is your six- or seven-night-a-week routine, there's no spice! "For example, the woman is wearing a sheer top and instead of saying something like, "Oh hey, look at you...!Now, it's more like, "Babe, can you shut the door when you pee? Your vibrator is getting action, as is his favorite porn site — but your actual bed? This kind of taking-each-other-for-granted bickering is a sure sign that you feel comfortable enough with your husband-buddy to be kind of a jerk to one another. " and making a move to become physical, the man might say, "Oh, I can see your bra.